


Love & War

by Otava



Series: Ripper Street Prompts [4]
Category: Ripper Street
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Infidelity, Kissing, M/M, Pilot!Reid, Polyamorous Character, mechanic!Jackson, ww2-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 04:59:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11373066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otava/pseuds/Otava
Summary: Homer Jackson and Edmund Reid meet at the cusp of WW2.





	Love & War

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GrumpyQueer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpyQueer/gifts).



> Overdue birthday present for a really cool person and a great writer, GrumpyQueer.  
> Happy Birthday!
> 
> Image made by heymoon9  
> https://heymoon9.tumblr.com/

 

“It was nice serving with you.” Edmund Reid shook his mechanic’s hand firmly.

“Likewise,” The man answered back, grasping back with his ever-present oil-soaked rag in the palm of his hand. “Ah, sorry about that-” the man laughed as he looked down at the mess.

“Well despite our genial camaraderie, I won’t be missing _that_ ,” Edmund joked, referring to the black liquid he was now rubbing the black liquid together between his fingers. “Make sure you don’t do that the the new guy. The stuff stains like crazy.”

“I know. Will do,” the mechanic smiled. “When are you set to leave?”

“About 5 minutes ago. But I wanted to personally thank you for your service before I left, Mr. Best.”

The man nodded as their hands parted; he used his now free hand to push up his glasses up onto his nose. Edmund glanced at one of Best’s war wounds as his hand brushed by his face, a missing right ear, which he still did not know the story to. Perhaps another day he would find out; after the war.

Today would be the last time they would be serving together. Edmund Reid was moving from where he had been stationed the past couple of months to a new base while his mechanic, the man who made sure his spitfire was in tip-top shape every time he flew and came back, was set on staying at the current base. They’d gotten along rather well, but now their time was up.

“Whoever’s plane you service next better do a good job because I’d like to see you in good nick after the war’s over, you hear?”

“I'll let them know,” Reid nodded.

“Good. Take care of yourself, Mr. Reid.”

“And you too, Best.”

After finishing his goodbye with a quick hug and pat on the back, Reid boarded the plane carrying him and other men accompanying him to the new base.

Although he would be even further away from his family, Reid was rather happy about the move because he would be once again stationed with Bennet Drake, a man he had known long before the war and had grown closer to in the battles they had both served in near the beginning.

He arrived at the base and went through a quick run-down of the area, his new duties and his schedule. That took about an hour. Another hour of his time was spent moving himself and his belongings into the barracks and looking around for Bennet and other men he had known. He had no luck with Bennet but did find a man passed out in a pile of mud with a bottle in his hand during his adventures. Reid moved him gently with his boot to make sure he was still alive. He was either breathing very shallow and making it hard to see with his with his baggy clothes or he was dead... It was probably the former, but Reid wanted to make sure just in case. “Hello?” He kicked at him again, not really wanting to touch the man. “Are you alright, sir?”

“It’s very rude to wake a sleeping man, especially in the middle of a war when sleep is fleeting,” the man gurgled, sounding bored. He was an American, it seemed.

HIs response made Reid angry. How ungrateful he was! He left without saying a word and bit his tongue. His impression about this new base was already at a bad start. He couldn't wait to tell Bennet what he’d seen when he found him.

Next, Reid went to the mess hall got into the line for food. The whole time he had been scanning the crowd for Bennet, still. His meal was handed out to him and there was still no sign of the man in the line or anywhere near, so he walked into the mess hall to eat and scanned the area.

\------

Homer Jackson wiped the mud from his face and headed towards the showers. This wasn’t the first time he’d fallen asleep on the ground like that and probably wouldn’t be the last. He was, however, glad that a superior hadn’t walked in on him or he’d have lavatory cleaning duties for months. At least there was that.

He had had one hell of a night the other day.

When he walked into the mess hall, cleaned up and ready to eat, he noticed there were a few new men in the canteen that day; one stood out from the others and he looked incredibly disoriented. Very disoriented, he observed as the man went up and down the rows, searching for something like a trained bloodhound. He walked up and down the building with his tray scanning the rows up people, probably on the lookout for a probably for a certain face.  
The man looked to be in his mid thirties, a little older than himself, and had brown hair with the brightest blue eyes Jackson had ever seen. His uniform was immaculate and his hat was strictly in place;he had a confident stride to his walk. He continued to look until he came to the back of the area, where Jackson had placed himself.

“Looking for somebody?”

“No- I mean, yes,” the man corrected, blinking a few times, studying Jackson’s face as if he knew him.

As soon as he spoke, Jackson placed the voice as the person who had woken him up. He hadn’t gotten a look at his face earlier, only his broad shoulders as he walked away from him. “Maybe I could help you. I know everybody here. Homer Jackson,” Jackson introduced himself out loud, extending his hand for the new guy to shake.

“Edmund Reid.” The man shook back. “You clean up nice.”

Jackson had to laugh. “You’re new here, aren’t you?”

“That’s right,” Reid confessed.

“And who is it that you’re looking for?”

“My friend. Bennet Drake. Do you know him?”

“Yeah. I do. We’ve gotten into a fair few scuffles, me and him. We don’t exactly understand each other, but we get along alright now. A mutual understanding.”

“Do you know where he might be?”

Jackson paused thinking. “Sometimes he’s known to eat alone in his barracks, I’m told. He’s not big on the noises and people, you understand.”

“Hmm. Yes, that sounds like him,” Reid smiled softly.

“Sit down and eat before you go. They get mad if you bring the dishes around and forget to return them,” Jackson said. He held up a flask. “I’ve got drink.”

The man looked at him with a twisted expression but eventually sat down and took a swig as a peace offering.

“How is it that you know him, Bennet Drake?” Jackson questioned. “He doesn't exactly have many friends. None from what I know of. It’s lucky of you to have found me when you did!”

“We knew each other before the war. He is the godfather to my child.”

“No shit?! Really?” Jackson said out loud. “Didn’t peg you as a married man. You’re not even wearing a wedding ring.”

Reid looked down towards his ring finger and blushed. “I. Erm, lost it awhile back and haven't exactly been able to replace it yet.”

“Tough luck. Yes. Many of our men have accidentally ‘lost’ their wedding rings here if you get my drift,” Jackson said nudging Reid in the ribs.

“It’s not like that!” Reid said too quickly.

“It’s alright, buddy. A lot of us are too busy with all the ‘enthusiastic’ and patriotic women near the outposts, am I right? I get it. I’ve snagged myself a few in the past during a lonely night. Beats drinking yourself asleep in the mud. Everyone’s had a nice fuck with a random woman. It’s the war.”

Reid could feel the irritating man pushing his buttons and he didn’t like it.“I would never!”

“The men then? Not many here are exactly keen on it, I’ve found this out the hard way,” he chuckled. “I _do_ know of at least a few nice men in this room who personally-”

“What!? No!” Reid’s face was turning red and he was getting angry.“You are improper and indecent in every respect! Please stop!” Reid blinked wildly, trying to calm down. “Will you _please_ direct me towards the general direction of Bennet’s current barracks so I can be on my way!”

“He’s in 6-A. Look for the tall building outside tent city and then head to your left.”

Reid let out a big sigh of relief. He too was assigned to those barracks too, by some miracle. Maybe it was his gift for putting up with the American man. He got up from his seat abruptly as if he couldn’t leave soon enough. “Thank you for your help. Uh, nice, er, meeting you, Jackson.”

“Likewise,” Jackson sniggered.

\-----

Reid hurried with the portable remainders of his meal to the barracks by following Jackson’s directions. He half expected the man to have given him false ones but soon, he found his beloved friend Bennet sitting in a room with 2 other people, eating his meal on his cot.

“Reid?” Bennet Drake questioned with a rare smile when he saw him looking around the room for him, surprised to see a familiar face.

“Bennet!” Reid exclaimed. “Nice to see you, old bean.”

Drake found himself smiling more. His voice was shocked and filled with joy “I didn’t know that you’d been stationed here?!”

“Just arrived this morning. They gave me and the new men the run-around then I came straight to look for you. Thought I’d surprise you. How have you been?”

“I’ve been better, but I’ve also been worse. How are you and the family?”

“We’ve been good. I’ve received a letter from Emily and Mathilda 5 days ago. They tell me that they are doing well back home..”

“That’s good to hear,” Drake relaxed. “I haven't heard from you in awhile, I was starting to get worried.”

“Sorry. They’ve been keeping me busy and such.”

“Me too. I’ve been out a lot this month.”

“They’ve told us how busy you’ve all been over here. That's why I’ve been moved here to help.”

“We’re starting to run low on soldiers,” Drake said wearily. “Not two months ago we had more than enough but now-”

“The world is cruel.”

“That it is,” Drake agreed.

\-----

Homer Jackson was intrigued to say the least about the new man that he had interacted with that evening. Edmund Reid. The man had turned as red as a tomato when he had tried to get a rise out of him. An unshakable man of virtue. Jackson even felt bad for his rudeness.

He felt a strange connection to him. But it was probably that the new man was just attractive in his immaculate uniform, that was all. He was heterosexual and attractive. He had a family.

Although- he didn’t explicitly state his straightness, so...

Maybe he had done a good job in making the man hate him. That way he wouldn't have to find out his sexuality the hard way and have his heart broken.

“How are you doing, American?” interrupted Jackson’s superior, Abberline.

“I’m doing alright, sir, thanks.”

“You’re still not beating yourself up about what happened to Hobbs, are you? We’re all sad about what happened to the boy but-”

“I’m fine.” Jackson said.

“Anyway,” continued Abberline. “I see that you’ve already gotten yourself acquainted with your new pilot and saved me the trouble of coming all the way over to the barracks to introduce you two myself.”

“Excuse me, what?”

“That’s the man you’ve been assigned to attend to. Edmund Reid. Ace pilot. Trained him myself back in the day while I was still overseeing the recruits at the academy. I requested his presence here in order to boost moral. He’s just what this unit needs, I think. You should be able to attend to him nicely.”

“That man’s a pilot? I thought he was just some foot soldier or mechanic like me-”

“Have you not ever heard of Big Ed the Bear? Legendary pilot and marksman. That’s him.”

“That man?” Jackson raised his eyebrow. “And you want me to be his mechanic for his stupid plane?”

“Despite your...Americaness, and _occasional_ drunkenness,” he said to the side, “you’re good at what you do. And at the moment you don’t have anyone to personally attend to, and we don’t have any other free mechanics, so you were assigned to him”

“Great,” Jackson agreed. “Thank you, sir.”

Jackson wanted to scream. His first impression had been terrible, he was just trying to have some fun to ease his pain without thinking of the consequences.

\-----

Drake and Reid were just about done with their meal and catching up when the rest of the men assigned to the barracks started walking in. Among those men, Reid spotted Jackson. His face contorted as he spotted the man and Drake seemed to pick up on it.

“What?”

“That man,” Reid started, nudging his head to Jackson's direction. “Jackson. We’ve already been introduced. Don’t tell me _he’s_ here too.”

“The American.”

“He’s a bit...forward, Isn’t he?”

“That he is, which isn’t always a bad thing. Says what’s on his mind and puts people in their place. He drinks a bit but is good at his job.”

“A little like you.”

“Mmm. I don’t drink, though. He’s a bit arrogant,“ Drake said. “A know-it all who has all the answers and knows how to do everything. He punched one of the men working on my spitfire one day because he forgot a screw in an important place. Saved my life. It pains me to say this but he’s probably the best mechanic in the unit. He can fly well too, but we get more use of him on the ground. Weird set of skills. I saw him shoot a bottle from god knows how far to win a bet. He was drinking at the time too. Also can play a fiddle, that one.”

“That’s besides the point. He made some comments to me. Assumed I was a homosexual and such. Is he-”

Drake blinked. “You know how some of the men are here. Don’t worry what he spouts. Nobody will think anything of it.”

Reid’s mouth formed an irritated shy smile.

\-----

Jackson awoke at dawn to find Reid leaving the barracks. The man not only was assigned to him, but slept in the same building as him too. He had been instructed to introduce him to his new plane that morning sometime before the morning roll call. This would not get to him.

Quickly, Jackson tugged on his boots and put on a undershirt to follow the other man. He lost him for a few minutes then found him coming out of the latrine.

“Nice seeing you again,” Jackson said, leaning against a wall.

“Hello?” Reid said, nervously stepping back.

“Look, I’m sorry about yesterday. Let’s start over. Hello, My name is Homer Jackson and I’m your new mechanic.”

\----

The American was his new mechanic.

Every time Reid looked over the man while he was showing him his new plane, his stomach felt sick and flipped and fluttered. He had a grease stain on his neck just behind his ear, but he didn’t want to say anything. Then he would know he’d been staring at him while he was working.  
Jackson was so confident and helpful with his explanations and how the machine worked that Reid couldn’t help but smile. So different from the other day, yet he couldn't help let his guard fully down quite yet. Perhaps the man had just been drunk...

“I think that’s about it. Any questions?” Jackson asked.

Reid looked up and down his toned arms and shook his head. “No, I think you provided me an apt explanation of all I need to know for now, thank you.”

“No problem. And look, I’m sorry about yesterday. If I came off too- you know. Strong.”

“It’s fine,”Reid said. “But truly, I did lose my wedding ring. I didn’t take it off or anything like that.”

“You must love your wife a lot then,” he said softly.

“I-” Reid hesitated. “We have our problems but we are doing fine, I suppose. I share a daughter with her. Mathilda. She’s sixteen-”

“I have a son back in America,” Jackson said. “He’s two. Not a lot of people here know that i have a kid. I don’t know why I’m sharing this with you.”

“Perhaps. it’s your way of apologizing,” Reid smiled lightly. “Do you really have a son? I thought that you liked to sleep with m-”

“My wife, she understands,” Jackson said. “This is a war, one we may not survive. I’ve only seen our son once in person. She lives with a woman now somewhere in the country in the mid-west. If I’m not there and can’t fulfill all her needs and desires, why should I stop her from doing so?”

Reid was at a loss for words. “She lets you too?”

“Yes. But I’ve only been with five people since I've been here.”

“Only?” Reid choked.

“Yeah. One woman I met when I first came at my old post. Her name was Rose. Then two more casual ongoing flings and a one night stand.”

“And the other?” Reid was almost to afraid to ask.

“A comrade.”

“Ah,” Reid nodded. This information somehow made him feel strangely hopeful.

\-----

Jackson returned to the barracks after he finished showing Reid around and mended the planes that he needed work on for the day.

A few of the men, including Reid, decided to play cards. They played a few rounds then dispersed to their own individual activities.

Now that he had some personal time to kill now and decided to write his wife a letter. It had been awhile since he had done so and somehow Reid had reminded him..

A large stack of tied-up letters and paper was removed from his trunk near his cot and he began writing. He asked her how she and their son were doing and about her lover, Mimi. He’d only met her a few times but she seemed like quite a lovely lady. Susan always told him how much he’d like her and how they both couldn’t wait for him to return.

He began writing and somehow managed to mention his new pilot in the letter and what he thought of him in brief detail.

“He’s gorgeous. I think I like him. I think you’d like him. But he has a family,” he wrote somewhat saddened. He didn’t even know why he bothered mentioning Reid in the first place.

After he finished writing, he sealed and addressed his letter to her. Thankfully he didn’t have to worry about people screening the slightly abnormal contents of his letters and such because he had contacts from America that would travel between the two countries often and mail his letters secretly when they had the chance.

Sneakily, he looked around before removing a photo from his bundled of received letters and took a quick peek of a nude photograph his wife had sent him in secrecy about a month back.

\----

Ried had been 24 when he married his wife, Emily. He’d dated a few girls before and between her but in the end, It was she who he had married in the end.

They had known each other for a long time; she had been his childhood sweetheart, someone he always known. She lived across his parent’s bakery and the two went to church together every sunday and school with each other during the week. Reid had gone off to university and when he came back, the two had gotten to know each other again and shortly thereafter were married when Emily was 2 months late with her menstrual cycle.

He had always known, at least since he was a teenager, that he wasn’t strictly attracted to females. It never mattered much to him, he simply pushed pushed it aside all his life until one day when he got extremely drunk at a party. He woke up the next day with a colleague he had found attractive for months, not remembering much of what had happened and too afraid to ask. They kissed, that was for sure; and he remembered that. And not in the way friends or family did so. He thought that possibly ‘heavy petting’ happened as well but he didn’t want to think of it or even admit it. After that, he tried to avoid contact with him and was more successful in his ‘man abstinence’ venture despite some strong periods of longing. He could swear that his ‘friends’ looked at him strangely, pointing and laughing after that event at school. It was tough and only had gotten tougher since he’d been away from his wife and daughter. He could have sworn his previous mechanic had been coming onto him at one point...

\-----

Homer Jackson had been born and raised in America. His father had been an inventor and a man of machines and gears and had worked himself to death too early.

Both Jackson and his brother had gone on the same mechanical path as their father. Jackson had become a man of science, an engineer; he worked on airplanes and complex machinery then joined the air force while his brother had gone somewhere overseas to start a risky business venture for a factory in god knew where.

From a young age, Jackson was very interested in learning new equipment and technology and had managed made a pretty decent living off of his interests later on.

He had met the daughter of an entrepreneur while he was engineering something for him. Smitten, they had a short affair, and shortly thereafter, he whisked her away and they were married.

They had good chemistry and had a mutual understanding of what they wanted out of each other. After a few months of marital bliss, they had a serious discussion that changed things and they ultimately decided that an open relationship would be best for both of them as that was what they desired and what both did before they had gotten married. Susan had confessed she was relieved after their conversation and so did he. They were deeply in love with each other, nonetheless, and that would never change, they knew.

About four years ago, Jackson had joined the military in order to allow him to work on and operate more complex machines to his heart's content.

When the war was started, Jackson felt a strong pull to go and help overseas and truly away from his wife for the first time ever. After consulting with wife, she encouraged him to go if it was truly what he wanted; and it was. He knew that he was talented and probably would be their best mechanic. They made passionate love for about a week straight upon his departure and about 9 months later a son was born to them. He’d gone back to see him once he was almost a year old and they repeated their week love love making session. No children had resulted in that time, to his knowledge.

\------

Jackson and Reid talked, chatted and sat around each other for a few days in the barracks.

Soon their first awkward encounter was forgiven and forgotten.

\------

It was the middle of the day, and for the first time since Reid had been at the new camp, the alarms had blared and signaled that they were needed in the sky for a battle.

All the men rushed to their locations. Reid grasped Jackson's hand each other's glances and had a mutual understanding with a quick nod. They rushed to the plane and Jackson immediately began helping Reid do pre-flight checks and getting the plane ready.

Two pilots already took off the hangar and onto the runway.

Reid was next in the air.

He loved flying. This had only been the third time he had taken this particular plane out and it was the first time that he had done so in a battle. The other two times he had gone out with Bennet to do reconnaissance and to get used to the mechanisms.

This time there was a chance he might die.

\------

Jackson’s thumbs twiddled around themselves as he and the other mechanics and engineers waited for their men to come back to them.

Waiting was always the toughest part.

Reid and the other men occasionally radioed back on them to inform their progress and to soon say that they would be coming back safely.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

“You did well,” Jackson commented, helping Reid out of his plane as he looked over Reid and the plane when they landed. There were two bullet holes on the hull that he would have to look into and repair later.

“Thank you,” Reid said, blushing.

Not a man was lost. Not a single one, which was exceedingly rare. Reid probably had something to do with that, Jackson had thought.

“Good job out there,” Drake said, passing by Reid and patting him on the back as he left to go take a shower.

“You too,” Reid called out to him.

“I think your first flight being successful calls for celebration,” Jackson said, digging in his pocket for his flask. He took a swig and handed it to Reid who accepted it. Jackson watched Reid’s throat gulp the liquid down and his adam’s apple bob. He was sweating.

\------

“They’re hanging around together a lot, aren't they?” one of the RAF pilots observed. “He even talks to him more than you and you are the godfather of his child!”

Drake nodded. “I guess they just really get on with one another. I’ve never seen Edmund so happy and talkative.”

\------

“How did it go? Are you okay?”

“I got rattled around a bit up there, and somehow managed to cut my hand open,” Reid said sheepishly, presenting the wound after his third time out. “The battle is almost over but I don’t think the plane can’t make it back up in time. I’ve failed everyone. I’m sorry.”

Jackson nodded.“You’re right, you won’t be able to make it back up there.” He took a look at the machine. “It's a miracle you made it back to the base like you did in that condition. Anyway, we got radio conformation a few seconds ago that the battle is over for now and the others will be heading back shortly so don't you worry about it.”

“Thank you, Jackson.”

“You’re welcome. And I can fix that up for you want,” Jackson said, pointing to Reid’s wound.

“I don’t know- we have medics.”

“Come on. Just a bit of disinfectant and a bandage. It's easy.”

“Is this another one of your strange skills? A medic?”

“I’ve dabbled.”

Reid nodded,“I suppose if it’s no trouble-”

“Let’s get to it.”

Reid and Jackson found themselves in the darkened barracks, blissfully alone for once. The materials were pulled out of a first-aid kit that was hanging on the wall and then Jackson set to work disinfecting the wound then bandaging it up.

All the while while he worked, Edmund looked at him. He was strangely looking at his face full of concentration rather than the work he was doing on his hand. In the weeks that had passed, Jackson and Reid found themselves closer than ever. They both knew that. They both had budding feelings for each other.

“Do you want to kiss me, Edmund?” Jackson asked as he caught the other man looking away from his lips for the 5th time that evening while he was bandaging his hand. Reid’s breath caught in his throat.

“Yes, I do.”

“Then why haven’t you yet?”

Reid could feel a soft whisper of Jackson’s breath against his skin. It made him shiver. Jackson had inched closer, his hand still holding to the bandaged wound. Reid turned away.

“I have a wife back home, a child…”

“As do I,” Jackson said before he scooted a bit closer.

“It's not like that with us, Jackson. I just can’t- It’s not right to her- I chose to marry her and I can’t just stop. I made a promise to her-” Reid started.

“But you want to kiss me?”

“Very much.”

“Please, Ed. I do to.” Jackson’s voice was cracking.

Reid put more distance between Jackson and himself and shook his head.

Jackson scooted back, shaking his head and coming to himself, realizing his advances would not be accepted as ran his hands through his hair. “Look, I’m sorry. Sorry. I won-t, I knew- I’m just making this harder on both of us, aren’t I?”

“Yes. but I know sometimes it’s hard to help it, isn’t it?” Reid offered with a sad smile, looking into a pool of similarly blue eyes. “Who you're attracted to, and who you want. I’m not going to deny that I- do feel things for you and that I’m constantly tempted to act on them. I know, however, that I cannot. It’s not something I should do.”

Jackson gave him a sad smile and just stared at him. He wanted to say so much more, to ask him if he was happy, to beg him and tell him how much it would mean to him. In the end all he said was, “I understand.” If he were to ever kiss Reid now, it would be on Reid’s terms.

Before Reid open his mouth again to finish respond back, they heard the radio call that some of the other pilots returning.

“I better go and see if we can help them.” Jackson got up from his seat, moving quickly towards the door.

“Yeah,” Reid spoke, calling out behind him.

\------

Reid woke up in the early morning hours with a pressing erection. He tossed and turned in bed, his mind racing. It had been so long since he’d had any anyone touch him. Even his wife before he had left.

Had he made the right decision?

He made his way out of the barracks and took care of himself.

\------

Weeks passed and despite Reid’s rejection, Jackson and he were still as close as ever. Perhaps even closer.

Jackson patted Reid on the back before he took off yet again. He stood back and saluted him making Reid’s heart jump. “You’ve got this.”

\------

Whenever he allowed himself to daydream, Reid thought of Jackson and how things would be different if he had let himself kiss him that evening instead of denying himself because of his morals. While he was up in the air, getting shot at and protecting his country, he now thought of Jackson and how happy he was just to have had the chance to have met him. Just knowing him should be good enough. He still wanted to entwine his fingers with his though.

\------

After occupying the barracks for over a month, the living accommodations were rearranged and Jackson and Reid were separated from each other. Reid was put in a tent in the large tent area near the barracks while Jackson was put in a tent too but in in the opposite direction of Reid’s

They still met almost every day for playing cards, drinking tea, and listening to the radio together.

\------

Once after a battle, Reid had witnessed a few men die right in front of him. He was close to dying almost five times that night and had been shaken up even though he’d see hundreds die before. His mind hadn't been in the right place and he felt as if he had lost control of himself, nearing a panic attack and destruction.

Jackson sat by him until he calmed down. They held hands. Jackson rubbed little soothing circles with the pad of his thumb.

\------

It was hard, just to remain friends with Reid. Jackson had a lot of love and lust to share and he wanted to share it with his pilot more than anything in the world. He told Susan about him in length and his dilemma. She consoled him and after it was clear that he wouldn’t be able to do anything with him, she had told him to move on. “But he’s different,” he wrote back.

He was sitting back-to-back against Reid while he wrote this.

They always sat closer together nowadays.

\------

Up to that point, the RAF unit had been rather successful with winning their battles with minimal to no losses but then things took a turn for the worst and plane after plane was shot down or lost.

The mechanics and all the men at the base waited nervously as one-by-one the defeated men came stumbling back.

Jackson had tears in his eyes. He was almost positive he wouldn’t be seeing Reid again.

\------

Reid came back to the base with a heavy heart. They had lost the most men in this battle since he’d been assigned there. I was a heavy blow to their ranks and he had honestly thought that he was going to die that time. All he could think of in that moment near death was letting Jackson down and leaving his daughter behind.

\------

When he landed, he drove the plane into the sheltered hangar then got out by instinct and muscle memory alone.

Everything felt numb.

Jackson was there as soon as his feet were hit solid ground and promptly embraced him for the first time.

They hugged each other tightly and firmly, pressing their bodies tight together, starved and hurting. Reid, being the taller of the two, had Jackson's face smashed against his body and had his hair between his fingers. After some time, Jackson needed some air so he moved his face upwards and up towards Reid’s.

Reid looked down at him and took in a sharp breath of air, seeing Jackson’s face reddened and watery from his tears. Reid’s hands, which were previously holding Jackson against his body and tangled in his hair, silently gripped his shoulders and caressed his face. His roughened thumb dragged across Jackson’s jawline. He too had been crying.

Not a word was said as they enjoyed a warm and loving kiss together.

The tension had snapped and they were now in a blanket of much needed calmness and safety.

When the short kiss had ended, they stared into each other’s eyes as they slowly released one another, It had felt as if it was the most natural thing in the for them to do despite there still being bereft and haggard men surrounding them.

They were mostly hidden by the plane but there still were a few men were in eye shot. Nobody was looking their way or even seemed to care what they were doing.

“Reid,” Jackson spoke first. “Glad you’re back. I thought that- You-”

Reid went in for another kiss, hungrier this time and catching Jackson by surprise. “Me too.”

A breath of relief washed over both of them.

\------

From then on their relationship had changed for both of them. Reid would sometimes kiss him and sometimes, he would kiss Reid when they had the time and the privacy.

They held hands, embraced, and snuck around as well, leaving each other out of breath when they had to part.

They both had obligations at the base. What they did was never enough. While they enjoyed it a lot, they still craved more. There was never proper time or privacy.

Then an opportunity arose, four days after their first kiss:

They were fumbling in Jackson’s tent and things were getting heated. When he reached down to try and touch Reid’s building erection, the other man had stopped him.

“Why?” Jackson asked.

“I can't help but already feel guilty of what we’re doing,” Reid had said. “If I let you do that, I don’t know how I’ll be able to face my wife when I get back. I just need some more time,” he apologized.

Jackson nodded and they continued to kiss. “I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable. I feel bad.”

“Don’t.”

\------

Battles raged on and the days blended together. When they had time, Jackson and Reid would try to spend it together but it was difficult. The war had gotten hectic.

Reid woke up, spooning Jackson in his tent. Jackson must have been too tired to go back to his own the other night, he thought.

He placed a kiss at the back of Jackson’s neck and got up from the tiny cot hey were both sharing. Immediately, he felt the coldness and emptiness surround him.

He needed Jackson to survive this war.

\------

It had been a three days since Jackson and Reid had seen each other; the longest it had been ever since they’d met all that time ago. The base was now once again short staffed and both Jackson and Reid had to help to pick up the slack.

Jackson entered Reid’s tent one quiet night on a whim before going to his own, very much not expecting to see him there.

He was there.

Reid was in the middle of the tent, changing his shirt; he turned around to see Jackson standing there.

Half his uniform was on and half of it was off. It was the most bare he’d ever seen him and he looked absolutely delectable.

“You have a free moment?” Jackson asked.

“Was just about to go to sleep,” Reid answered.

“If you need me to go, I can-”

“No,” Reid interrupted. “It’s fine. I’ve missed you so much.” He said walking up to him and kissing him..

They hugged each other close and then started up their usual routine of kissing.

Reid’s chest was bare, since Jackson had interrupted him in the middle of changing, so Jackson’s hands traveled up his chest and naked skin as they kissed. This was new territory; he loved the feel of his bare skin against his hands. Reid was hairier than he had expected for some reason. He also had some surprisingly big scars on his chest including a particularly bad one on his shoulder that looked like a burn.

Reid’s skin tingled from the roughness of Jackson’s clothes against his softer skin. He suddenly became sensitive. It felt so good to be kissing Jackson like he was. The skin-on-skin contact felt absolutely divine.  
He no longer felt as tired as he did a few moments earlier.

Jackson let out a groan as Reid shifted his weight off Jackson, brushing his front in the process.Their legs were tightly locked onto one another and they both were fighting desperately to keep their composure.

“Why don’t we go to the bed,” Reid breathed.

“Good idea,” Jackson agreed.

He sat respectfully next to him, kissing for a few moments but that wasn’t enough for either of them. Reid’s hand that was placed at Jackson’s side had somehow prompted the other man closer to him to the point where Jackson had to get up from his seat a bit and readjust. Reid was just about to open his mouth to protest when Jackson sat with his legs on either side of him. Jackson’s unshaven face brushed against Reid’s neck, eliciting a groan from him.

The continued to kiss with their tongues plundering each other's mouths. Taking a breath of air in, Reid looked up in awe at Jackson. The urge to feel Jackson’s bare chest against his own became overpowering so his fingers went and began undoing Jackson’s uniform.

Soon, Jackson’s chest too was laid bare for him. Reid couldn’t wait to touch him and make him feel good, so he greedily began to run his hands over Jackson’s tan body and move his kisses down from his lips to his neck and then chest, planting nips and licks down along the way.

Jackson leaned back to give Reid better access as he continued to kiss.

Reid’s hand moved to Jackson’s thigh. His eyes fluttered down for a second, confirming that Jackson was hard. He was sure that he had felt him when they kissed earlier and it had taken everything in him not to grind his hips against his right then and there when they were kissing he did everything in his power to not and bring himself off against him. Reid had felt himself stiffen earlier as soon as he saw Jackson enter the room in his state of undress and touched him so lovingly. The way his fingers caressed his battle-scarred skin. He knew that he was ready to give in to what they both needed. He couldn't seem to hold himself back anymore and had just been waiting. Now was it.

Reid could taste the sweat of a hard day's work as his kissed his way across Jackson’s now bared chest. It was a strong and almost bitter taste, but he couldn't seem to stop in the moment to care. When Reid got to Jackson’s pectorals, he hesitated and looked up at Jackson who was blushing a deep red. He moved his mouth down his chest and closed in on one of his nipples. He lapped at it and pushed it around with his tongue as he held it firm in his mouth.

“Edmund,” Jackson moaned.

“Homer,” Reid breathed back softly.

His hand found it’s way to his neck and his fingertips squeezed lightly as he guided his head towards to a tilt, exposing his neck to ravage with kisses. Reid licked and kissed down to the hollow in between Jackson collar bone.

Jackson hand reached down and he cupped Reid through his trousers, feeling the weight of him as Reid moved his face away from the crook of his neck.

Reid planted light kisses against his skin as Jackson pulled at Reid’s underthings and guided his hips up to rid him fully of his clothes.

“My shoes, wait,” Reid said trying to get up to remove them.

He got one off as Jackson bent down to get the other one. Reid stepped out of his underthings and Jackson ran his thumb over Reid’s exposed thigh.

Reid’s eyelids fluttered and his face turned red as Jackson brought his face towards him.

\------

Sirens blazed in the middle of the night, waking everyone up.

“Another day, another battle,” Reid groaned, putting on his clothes.

Jackson rolled over and stared deep into his eyes and felt something in his heart tug at him. “You stay safe out there, you hear?”

“I will.” Reid kissed him on the lips.

They both got dressed and made it to the hangar together.

The pre-flight checks were done and the plane was about to be started.

“One last thing before you leave, Edmund,” Jackson said.

“Yes?”

“I know this is sudden, but, I want to say it while I can.” He took in a deep breath. “I love you,” Jackson said.

“I love you too,” Reid smiled and kissed him quickly before hopping into his plane. “See you soon.”

\------

“It’s not looking good.”

“We lost communication!”

\------

“I hope they’re alright.”

“I hope _he’s_ alright.”

\------

Bullets, fire and smoke surrounded him. His friends were dropping one by one and he was losing altitude fast; Edmund Reid was certain he would die.

Then he saw it coming.

He closed his eyes, as his plane exploded around him.

\------

As hours passed, more and more of the people around him started to cry. Jackson somehow managed to hold most of his tears in. But as more people were confirmed dead, he couldn’t hold it together much longer. His heart ached. Then it snapped.

So many had died that night. More than the last few weeks combined. There were still a few pilots out, so there was hope for Reid yet. Jackson clung to this thought and silently begged for Reid’s return. “Bennet Drake is dead.” he heard somebody say and his blood froze. Reid and Drake always flew together. Without question. They were _always_ close-by in flight. Always.

He was getting desperate and panicky. Reid’s radio wasn’t working. The last he heard of his whereabouts from anyone was almost 5 minutes ago.

“In going up after him.” Jackson said. Only a handful of pilots had made it back.

“Don't be ridiculous.”

“He can still be out there! In the air, on the ground or sea. He can still be alive!”

“He's not,” said one of the other pilots, Bobby Grace. “I saw him shot down. The plane exploded and-…”

“Where!” Jackson grabbed the younger man by the collar of his shirt. “Goddammit! Tell me where you last saw him!”

“I, uh, over the channel,” he said. “I don’t think he had time to eject.”

Jackson removed his hands from Grace and immediately ran towards one of the planes that was better condition than the others and took off as fast as he could.

His hands were shaking as he started up the plane.

“Jackson!” He heard others yell after him..

He was up in the air and on his way.

Carefully, his eyes scanned over the channel and the battle and through the debris scattered over it. There was nothing left; there were no survivors and the men that were left fighting their way to retreat looked rather thin; they had lost.

Reid was dead. That was as much was confirmed over Bobby, the airwaves, other pilots and finally by Jackson himself whether he’d like to accept that or not.

Reid was dead. Many plane rounds and explosions surrounded him. Everyone left was dead. Jackson shot at a few planes with tears in his eyes. He did his best to maneuver around the bullets.

There was an opening, the chance to shot down three or four nearby enemy planes with the risk of certain death; and he took it. Even if he didn’t go for it, he’d certainly die anyway before he’d be able to get back to the base.

They had killed Reid. Reid was dead.

The guns fired fast then one, two, three, four planes either exploded or spiraled into the sea leaving no survivors, but he flew right into the enemy. Seconds later he felt the most excruciating pain.

Then it was dark.

\------

The world was a cruel place.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't want to kill em but they made me.


End file.
